sleepING and not....mostly not

So lately...I don't sleep. Ok, maybe a little. Maybe four hours a night. Two on a bad night. Six on a good ("good night" occurring maybe two or three times in a month). It's awful. I don't mean to complain. I swore to myself I wouldn't use this blog as platform for complaint, but I really haven't been doING much worth blogging. I've been trying to slog through each day in a tired haze.

I've tried so many things. Warm milk, stretching, reading, counting sheep, reading about sheep (which is actually interesting to me, so I realized that wouldn't work for me). I pray. Which has been good actually. I've cut out caffeine completely, although I never drank much to begin with. I've tried not napping, but gave up. It didn't help. I still didn't sleep. I decided that if I could get some sleep during the day, it was still better then none all day. I even took a pregnancy test to make sure that wasn't the cause. Big sigh of relief...it is not.

Today, is actually a rare extra extra good day. I slept from 1:30am-7am and I fell back asleep for another hour or two. This is the best I've had for awhile. I'm hoping its the beginning of the end. I really really really hope its the beginning of the end.

Not sleeping is miserable. My whole body hurts sometimes because I'm just so tired. I'm sorry for anyone who has had season's of no sleep. Be it mom's, or other insomniacs like myself, or nightshift/swingshing workers.

It's taken over my life. I've skipped a class or two on bad days, for fear of falling asleep behind the wheel. My house is a mess. I fall asleep while reading for school. I feel so unproductive.I feel grumpy over silly things like facebook statuses, other drivers on the road, the fact that mail hasn't come yet. It's not an excuse for grumpiness, but it sure amplifies it.

I've had so many opinions about this given to me. "You must be stressed." You're right, I am...I haven't slept for a month or longer (I've lost track)...wouldn't you be? "Just wait until you have kids...you don't know what tired is..." Maybe. But for some reason, I think I do know what it is. I don't mean this disrespectfully. Sometimes I wish I wasn't sleeping because of kids. At least there would be a reason. I know that I am lucky in some regards, because at least my schedule is such that if I can fall asleep for a few minutes during the day, its ok. I can move my own schedule around with the exception of class times.

Again, I'm so sorry for using this for a platform to complain. It's just that this has been my life. I'm just ready to sleep again.

Next week is spring break. I'm going to try Motrin PM to get me back into a normal sleep rhythm. I think over the weekend, I will let myself rest and sleep as much as I can to "catch up". Then during the week I will try the PMs. I wait until break to try this because typically drowsy medicine makes me sleep much longer than the average person. If that doesn't work, its time to see the doctor I suppose. I'm also going to start running again. That should help...right?

Thanks for listening. I promise...this will be one of very very few complaining posts. I know that I'm blessed with a warm bed to at least try to sleep in, and a man I love sleeping beside me. I just know I would feel a whole lot better, if I could just sleep.

eatING

In the spirit of up and coming St. Patrick's Day, I've decided to tell you about one of my favorite, very Irish, incredibly cozy, and rather local places to eat--Mulligan's Restaurant and Pub in Canton Ohio. It's right off the Whipple exit and it's more than worth your time (and gas money!)




It's nestled into an unlikely place, a strip mall...I know, I know. But before you judge, step inside. You'll first walk into an old Irish pub-like enviroment. Surrounded by brick work, wainscoting, stained glass windows, and beautiful woodworking and copper working around the very cozy bar--a bar that makes you want to walk up and order an Irish ale. This is the room with a more casual sports bar atmosphere (without losing it's charm), there are TV's with sports running. The last fun part about this room is it's running, year-round, second by second, countdown to St. Patty's Day.





If this isn't charming enough, venture a little further in. To your left you'll find the Victorian room. Here, you'll find a gigantic beautiful fireplace, that was actually featured in the movie The Haunting. This room has a much more formal feel, and no TV's.It has a very "it was a dark and stormy night", feel. Typically it's reserved for banquets, but sometimes it's available for regular seating.

Finally (yes there's more) to your right you will find the library. Here you'll find another beautiful fireplace, lovely wainscoting, tapestries hanging from the walls, and a wall of books. It feels like the library of some olde (with an "e") lord. Typically, you have to call ahead to sit in the library for dinner.



Now, if environment alone hasn't compelled you to immediately race on over in time for a St. Patty's Day celebration, I am pleased to tell you that the food is....wonderful! I've never (ever, ever, ever) had a bad meal there. Among my favorites are the reuben, French onion soup (best I've ever had, perfect of the cozy surroundings), Mulligan's fried mushrooms (they are HUGE), fish and chips....you get the idea...everything! They also have great steaks, and ribs.

It should also be mentioned that they will serve your drink to you in a gigantic, bowl-sized, two-hander, glass goblet. Seriously, these goblets are like the size of your face. If you order a beer, it comes in a frosty one. This only adds to the lovely, olde world feel.

If you've never been there...go. Sit at the bar, or a cozy booth, or the library...just get your Irish on, and go. :)



Credit:http://www.mulliganscanton.com/pictures.html

readING

For a phonics strategies class I'm in, one of the projects we do is to read a young adult or older children's book and do a "book talk" on it. The "book talk" part is simply giving a brief "preview" of the book...without giving too much away. The goal is to learn to make books sound exciting (which they are) and to read books that the kid's we will be teaching could read.

I chose Hoot, and I have to say I liked. It's sort of a series of hilarious mysteries that are all connected and stacked on top of one another.By the time you feel that one mystery is "solved" your knee deep into the next. It begins with Roy, the main character being beat up by the school bully on the bus. His face is smushed against the glass of the window. It's at this point that Roy notices a boy running. Not just any boy though. He had no shoes, no books, and was running in the opposite direction of the school bus stop. Roy immediately sets out to find out who the running boy is and from there, the mysteries only begin. By the end you'll find out what an owl, nine snakes, an alligator, a bulldozer, a police car, and pancakes all have in common and you'll laugh a lot along the way.

I liked it. It made me laugh. In a few places it was actually a little too....political(?) for me, which surprised me for a book written for 12 years olds, but as whole it was great.

Whatever I think of the book though, I love this idea of book talks, and plan on using it in my classroom someday. We not only have to talk about the book, but we have to create a website, or use props, or do something visual.



The second book I've been reading isn't school related at all (clearly)-- The Knitter's Book of Yarn by Clara Parkes. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this book. It's everything you could want to know about yarn, choosing it, using for the right projects, where it comes from, how it's made, and more. It comes with some 40 patterns that are all beautiful. Some are above my skill level, but I'll get there...someday.

Perhaps its interesting to me because I love wool, yarn, and all fiber related topics, but I would venture to say that even to someone who may not have a natural affinity for yarn could find her style and content interesting.

My favorite part is when she talks about fiber festivals (yes, that's a real thing...all the knitting nerds really do all together at one time, I'll post on that sometime soon). She refers to them as "Woodstock, for knitters". I love this!

"Read it. I know you'll love it!" (Name that movie) But really, do read it.

knittING news

First of all, I will start this post by saying...I should absolutely be reading Heart of Darkness for my lit class right now. However, as Fridays tend to go, I got online and started looking at knitting, fiber, and wool related things and now I feel compelled to blog about them. What can I say? I'm obsessed.



First and foremost I am extra pleased to announce that.......the Tumnus scarf is finished!!!! Well, sort of. I'm finished knitting it. I haven't decided if I'm going to block it. Blocking, for any non-knitting reader I may have, is the process of wetting and drying the knitted piece to help achieve the desired shape. There are a lot of ways to do this, and I've never done it before, but I may try it for this project. The edges of this scarf curl, so it's almost like a long, red, snake-like rope. Surprisingly though, it wears great like this. We'll see what I decide. Pictures to come. (I would post pictures of it today, but sadly I've been so focused on reading about wool and such, that I haven't even showered or anything....pathetic...I know).



Second, I am happy to tell you all that I finally found a pattern that I really love for the legwarmer project. It took me forever because I wanted to find one that was free, that I still liked, and that seemed easy enough for a new knitter like myself. Here it is. I found it on a site called the purl bee. It's great you should check it out if you like knit, crochet, or sew anything at all.



Here is what the finished product will hopefully, but not likely, look like.




I will probably wear them a little "slouchier" then what is pictured, but I just can't wait to knit and to wear these. Once I can spare the money for the yarn they recommend, I'm getting it, and I am going to start knitting. I figure I'll probably have these done in time to be extra useful. Like, maybe....in July....you know, when legwarmers are just the thing you are looking for. Either way, I'm wearing them, even if it is 90 degrees out. I'll just turn up the air a little more.

Finally, here is our "celebrity knitter" for the month:



Yup! Audrey! If that doesn't put the class into knitting, I don't know what does.
I know this picture looks like its from a movie set, which it is, but she really was a real-life knitter and she is real-life knitting here.

This discovery made me so happy and made me feel less like I'm 90 years old for being a knitter.

So get those needles clacking! Everybody's doing it! Even Audrey!



Image credit: Google Images

lovING today

candy hearts


wearing pink (it's like the only day of the year that I do)


hugs and kisses (both the chocolate ones and the real ones)


love sonnets

flowers and cards

being together

valentine crafts


love songs

smiles

us.

slayING the jabberwocky

I love Tim Burton movies. I just love them. I love the sets. I love their costuming (someday, I'm going to be a Tim Burton character for Halloween, but I better get started on that now,if I want to have it all figured out by then). I love their edgy, whimsical darkness. I love thier sarcasm and satire. They alway's seem like these artful retellings of stories we've heard, or at least feel like we've heard before.

I finally got sit down and watch Alice in Wonderland, and as usual, I was not disappointed. It. was. fabulous. It was whimsical and dark and fanciful. It made me wish there were a real place called Wonderland. I have to confess I've actually watched it more then once. It made me want to read the book, and I think, someday, I will. Someday, when I'm not in school and being forced to read things like The Picture of Dorian Gray....ugh....although perhaps it would make a good Tim Burton movie someday. ;)

Although I loved everything I've already mentioned that I love about Tim Burton movies, there was something else about it that stuck with me. Every now and again in a movie or a book there will some one or two-liner that repeats itslef in my mind and somehow makes its way into my life. When I watched The Dark Knight it was "You make your own luck." In Lord of the Rings it was something about making the most of your time....I know, I know, for something that stuck with me, I should remember it better.


What stuck with me about this movie, was the Six impossible things. When Alice was told she should stop wasting her time thinking about such impossible things, like flying, she responded with,

"Sometimes, my father believed in as many as six impossible things before breakfast."

Later in the movie she used this idea to bolster herself to gain the courage to slay the Jabberwocky (If you don't know what a Jabberwocky is, you should, its great fun. Look it up and see picture above.). She listed them all as she fought, things like "Animals can talk" and "There is a cake that make you grow when you eat it." Her final and 6th impossible thing was " I can slay the Jabberwocky."

So, she did.

While I don't have literal Jabberwockies to slay, and I'm not really all that certain about the idea of cakes that make you grow when you eat them, and I would actually be freaked out if my cat talked to me, there are goals, ideas, or accomplishments in my life that seem just as impossible. So, I've decided to make believing in six (or sometimes even one) impossible thing a part of my life.

Sometimes they can be "little", like " I can pass economics", "I can get over it if I don't pass economics." or " I can write this paper" or, on a bad day, even "I can get through today". Sometimes they can be "big" like " I can make it through this season of life" or "There is joy to be found here." There are no hard fast rules to what my impossible things could be, just whatever seems impossible for that day, week, month, year etc. Sometimes it can be things that just feel impossible at that time but aren't, like "God loves me" or "Fear not" or even "I can try something new."

Six Impossible Thing's is really more of an attitude then it is a list. It is the willingness to take risks and move forward. It's the ability to stand on the edge of some terrible, wonderful, wild thing and jump. It's the dreaming up of new ideas and saying "This could work" and then doing it. It's being creative and not apologizing for it.

It is being fearless. It is trusting. It is being free.

So, whatever your Jabberwockies, I hope you to find the courage to slay them. I would say "Good luck"...but remember, you make your own. ;)

the science of bakING

i bought a bread machine last month,

i measured and poured each simple ingredient
and flipped a switch to "on" and went about my day.

it whirred and it hummed, and it tapped
metallic, like some alien craft on the kitchen counter

the bread came out in soft, square, blocks
warm on the tongue
and was eaten up with butter and jam and so much soup
all just the same.


but my hands

missed the feel of oil and flour and cracked wheat
sticking to my skin and under my fingernails

and the strength my arms felt
as they kneaded and kneaded to the rhythm of my own passionate breath

pausing only to brush my hair back from my brow with my wrist
leaving primitive streaks of flour across my human cheek


like a journey, a pilgrimage
to Mecca, or the holy land
or Damascus

measuring the oil as careful as Elijah's widow

choosing a place, a warm, dry womb
to watch the dough, the yeast, the flour, rise like some miraculous, living, testimony
to the way things are and have been for centuries.
















Image credit: www.ooh.com